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Things you may or may not have noticed:
There's a rabid hungry beaver lurking around eating abandoned items in our shopping carts.
We have recently entered under a new dictatorship. He's a 3-legged moose who prefers to go by "Overlord" or "Grand Master Moose". His real name is Kevin and he was born in Vulcan.
A Mountie has been assigned to our case trying to free us from the tyranny of the moose and the beaver. Rick is a nice guy, but if we're being real - he's a few seeds short of an acorn if you know what we're saying.
Yesterday, we had to hide in a camouflaged igloo where we could pack up customer orders so that the beaver couldn't sniff them out. If he eats even one item from an abandoned cart, he goes into a frenzy (akin to the blood-lust of the vampires who used to run the operation here) and starts eating items ready to be shipped out for the day. He does however recycle the packaging for use in his dam which has now completely sealed off the Bow River just south of Calgary (sorry Lethbridge).
We've come into the knowledge that Kevi- *cough* - I mean the Overlord has made plans to go to war and eradicate all of the beavers in the area. He mentioned something about an ex-lover, Sarah, that decided his hind leg bone would make a perfect toothpick. Things are going to get messy and we're scared. Please, send help.
If you would like to support the Overlord's mission, simply use this code at the checkout and he will acknowledge your support with 25% off your purchase (good for only one use because he's a frugal S.O.B.): MOOSE25
Meanwhile, the beavers have heard wind of this pending attack and are retaliating by offering free shipping on orders below $100 to anywhere in Canada in hopes they will procure enough packaging to block off the river North of Calgary so that the Overlord may die of dehydration: BEAVERDAM
For the love of Canada, can someone please find Rick? He may have fallen asleep in his canoe again after drinking that 24 of Kokanee we tried to bribe him with. He was last seen with Walter (the lumberjack that lurks outside unsuspecting goose nests) and Fred (that other Canadian guy who is WAY too polite to everyone, sorry).
Monday to Friday: 11:00 am - 7:00 pm
Saturday: 10:00 am - 7:00 pm
Sunday: 12:00 pm - 5:00 pm
Bay 7 - 4429 6th Street N.E., Calgary, AB T2E 3Z6
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